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Phoenix

Brief from client 

Something modern, simple, and unique. Rising like a Phoenix.

I made some changes to make it thicker.

3 Comments

saraqroxy's picture
165 pencils
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I see what you're going for, and while I do think that's a nice enough idea (having the shape of a phoenix built into the bottom of the text there) I'm not sure it's really being put in motion as best it could. I don't think you should have the white stroke effect around the letters, I don't think the gradient is needed (and to be honest, I don't think it adds anything good either) in the text, but most importantly- it feels like the phoenix shape is a stretch. It just doesn't look right- the blue border around all of the text is fine I guess, but when it gets to the end of the wings it just... I dunno, it just doesn't look right.

Were it me I'd 86 the gradient, the white stroke, take out the black background, and then play around a lot more with how to integrate the bird into the word. (Hey, that rhymed!)

Shawali's picture
1378 pencils
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If you'er going to alter the font, you might as well go the whole nine yard and recreate it, so each character is consistent with each other.

As of now, it looks like there are 2 different fonts in your logo.

Last thing, same as Sara, drop the whole gradient/stroke thing/background thing. It brings nothing to the plate and complicates things.

The idea is still cool, you just need to spend moer time on it.

Keep it up!

Gigafrost's picture
63 pencils
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The problem could lie in your spacing of the "H", As I said in your previous one:

You can tell that your font is too thin because of your "H" getting rather deformed by your birds wing, and the "N" stretching out. Now for me I could just be nit picking.

A thicker and more crisper font would be best, without the rounded corners of course.

Adjust your kerning a little bit and you might as well move that "bar" of the H to the edge of the curve so it flows INTO the wing and looks overall cleaner.

None of your letters should be touching each other. But I do think this is better than the last one. Remove the gradient and outline!

Version history